Understanding Situational vs. Autistic Behaviours in Business

I’m not an expert. What I’m sharing comes from my own experience as a mom, living and working alongside my daughter, and from many hours spent diving down rabbit holes to understand autism. It’s simply my wisdom, shaped by years of learning as we go. And boy do I know I am still learning. My hope is that it helps business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders better understand the differences between situational and constant traits, and how that awareness can transform working relationships.

Before We Knew She Was Neurodivergent

For many years, we worked together without knowing Mackenzie was autistic. She was well into adulthood, and well into our working relationship, when she discovered this truth about herself. That discovery shifted everything, not only in how she understood herself, but also in how I understood her, myself, and other people. It has been a lesson in meeting people where they are—and in recognizing that we all share some of her traits, though for us they might show up only in certain situations. For her, they’re constant. 

Misunderstanding Autism in Business

One moment stands out. During a strategy meeting, she looked away mid-conversation and began typing notes. At the time, I assumed she was disengaged. I later learned that looking away helped her focus, and typing allowed her to process in real-time. What I saw as distraction was actually deep engagement — and it was happening every time, not just occasionally.

This is where misunderstandings often happen. A neurotypical person might say, “Yes, I have that trait too,” and they’d be right — but it likely appears only in certain circumstances. For an autistic person, the same trait is present all the time. The why, how often, and impact are different. For more examples about this, Read my blog 10 Things You Might Be Getting Wrong About Autism.

Same Trait, Different Roots

Just as it’s helpful for non-neurodivergent people to understand the constancy of these traits for neurodivergent people, it’s equally important for neurodivergent people to recognize that others may share the same traits situationally. That awareness can help reduce frustration and prevent assumptions about intent because while the behaviour may look the same, the reason behind it may be very different.

Let’s take a look at how this might show up trait-by-trait

Inclusive Workplaces Make Room For All Traits

Recovery matters too. For a neurotypical person, regaining energy after these situations might take only a brief walk or short break. For an autistic person, recovery can take hours, sometimes even days, to fully rebound.

For employers, this difference is not just an interesting fact—it’s a duty to accommodate. Understanding and making space for all of these traits, from communication style to sensory needs to recovery time, is part of creating an inclusive workplace. If you ignore this, you’re the one losing out, because you’re missing the chance to benefit from the unique perspectives, creativity, and deep insight that a wonderful neurodivergent brain brings to your team.

What My Business Partner’s Autism Diagnosis Taught Me

Her discovery reframed years of interactions. What I once interpreted as preference or mood was actually her consistent way of navigating the world. It also made me more aware of my own patterns. When I avoid eye contact in a meeting, it’s not because I’m disengaged—I’m thinking. When someone else needs a quiet evening, it might be because their day was especially loud. But for my neurodivergent business partner, these aren’t occasional needs; they’re everyday realities that shape how she works best. Read more about our journey as mother and daughter to business partners and how things changed when we realized she was autistic: Better Late Than Never: From High Masking To Empowered Autistic Entrepreneur. 

On the flip side, I’ve seen the value when she recognizes that I might share a behaviour sometimes. That awareness helps her avoid assuming my reasons are the same as hers, and that mutual understanding smooths both our working relationship and our daily lives.

Why This Matters in Business and Entrepreneurship

When you can distinguish between situational and constant traits, you:

• respond more appropriately to each person’s needs.

• avoid taking behaviours personally when they’re not about you.

• build trust by meeting people where they are.

For autistic and non-autistic collaborators, the awareness goes both ways—understanding how and why these traits appear can prevent unnecessary conflict and create a more productive, respectful, and inclusive workplace. This is as true in personal relationships as it is in professional ones.

Create Inclusive Neurodiverse Business by Meeting People Where They Are 

If you’ve ever thought, I do that too, you’re not wrong. You probably do sometimes. But for the autistic business owner, it’s not sometimes. It’s a constant, foundational part of how they experience the world.

Recognizing that difference and seeing where our experiences overlap isn’t just about understanding each other. It’s about creating a space where everyone can do their best work. And after years of living and working alongside my daughter, I can say with certainty that this awareness changes not only how we run a business together, but also how we live together. At its heart, it’s a lesson in meeting people where they are—something every entrepreneur, business leader, and inclusive workplace can benefit from.